Tag Archives: Moving on

The end, the beginning, and then…

20140504-132636.jpgA lot of things are ending in the next couple of weeks- I’ll be graduating with a master’s degree ending my academic career (for now), my assistantship contract is up ending my job at SUNY Oswego, and my museum internship will be completed with the ending of this semester.

The good news is, there are great things waiting for me on the other side. I start a job at Onondaga Historical Association in a month, I continue my job at a foundation, and I gain the freedom to, well, do whatever I want.

Thinking back, I always had a good excuse for why I didn’t go out: school. Yes, it’s a lot of work. No, I shouldn’t have done that. Now, I’m at a crossroads- I can decide I’m going to be boring and make excuses or I can go out and do something, anything, in the time I make for myself. I can’t keep saying I don’t feel like driving or spending money. If I want to do something I’m going to go for it.

I’m going to go at my jobs with everything I have as well as my personal life.

I want to start projects, books, trips, and whatever else to learn and grow outside of a classroom. I’m going to meet people wherever I go and learn to love to do new things. And sometimes, when the mood strikes, I’ll be a bum and sit around drinking beers at a bar with my friends, but that’s not all I’ll have to look forward to.

I feel good about starting a new chapter in my life. This one needed to end. And then? Well, who knows.

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Weight

You don’t have to think about something all the time for it to be a burden. It’s also hard to realize how much something weighs on your mind until it goes away or you get closure. Last night I spoke to someone that I haven’t talked to in a long time and you know what, it went pretty well. For someone I never expected to have a real conversation with again, it went as well as it could have.

It wasn’t exactly closure, but dare I say it helped us move into a new chapter in this whole situation.

I won’t go into detail on how it all started, but I will say he absolutely had his reasons not to talk to me. No matter how much I hated the idea of losing a friend, I knew that I needed to just let it happen.

It bothered me for a while that we just weren’t friends anymore and even more so because there was nothing I could do to fix it. But last night we actually spoke and it was more than just “Hey” in passing. I was caught off guard when we talked about music for a second and that, “Yeah, I’ll have one of them get in touch with you this weekend,” as we briefly talked about our old bandmates coming to Oswego for Harborfest and that we should hang out and jam or whatever.

Even though I was really happy that I found the medallion thing hidden at the Raven (a local bar I frequent) that came with a few prizes, the fact that we were speaking lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. Like I said, it wasn’t something that I thought about all the time, but it was definitely something that bothered me enough that it was on my mind.

I know it’s not over and we’re not all of a sudden best friends, but as this point, talking is better than pretending that the other person didn’t exist.

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(The “medallion” which won me $13, a t-shirt, and 2 pints of beer)

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Mixed feelings: When is it time to move on?

I’ve defended Oswego for a long time. Anytime someone said there was nothing to do, I had a list of reasons why it was the place to be. Whenever I left, I wanted to come back. I always said, “This place has a charm, it just takes you in.”

Lately, however, I’ve been feeling like maybe Oswego is just something I’m used to; something I know so well, making it part of who I am. I know to take, or not to take, certain roads at specific times of the day, which place has the best beer selection, where the best spots are to hang out by the lake, and who makes the best wings. Bartenders at my local watering hole, The Raven, even know what my favorite drinks are. It feels like home because I’ve made it my home. 

This city needs a lot of work, and I’m not saying I want to run away tomorrow, but unfortunately I don’t see myself here for years and years to come. I want to stay here a while longer, maybe start my professional career and live cheap for a while, then see where it takes me. I want to be committed to making this city better; to making it somewhere I would want to live for a long time. But right now, 20-something year old Jon needs a little more and you know what – it’s time for me to be selfish. 

I want to start my life here: get on my feet, get a decent job, have some fun, and move on when the time is right. I look forward to the day where I get to learn to love a city the way I learned to love Oswego; to learn which bars have the best beer; to learn about the people, the roads, and the restaurants; to learn why other people love it.

Like I said, I’m not running away tomorrow, and to be perfectly honest I’ll probably be here longer than I think. Who knows what happens in the next year or so. Maybe a job pops up I can’t refuse and I stay a while. I’ll leave that up to chance for now and work hard regardless. 

Right now, Oswego is home and I’m happy to be here. But I’ll always think about the day that I move somewhere else. 

One day I will. 

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