Moving forward

I wrote this almost 2 years ago to the day when I was on Long Island. I was in a weird spot, but it’s amazing what has changed since then. I feel like I’m on the track that I said I wanted to be on then and it’s great to see I followed through on it. I’ve grown and learned so much about who I am since that time. Got a degree. Started another. Met amazing people, specifically Leah. Now it’s time I remember how I got here…

Right now I’m at a crossroads. A moment where I can chose to dwell on my past, or cut my loses and  use my successes to move on. I feel disconnected from a place that I never thought I would: Long Island. I love it to death, it makes me a lot of who I am. At the same time I haven’t been around in the past few years and other than 4 close friends and family, everything else that keeps me close to my roots went in different directions. I want to start a career, move to a new city, have my own place and just have a somewhere that I can call, home. Something that I built for myself and somewhere that I need to keep working hard to maintain. The support of my family and friends can’t be replaced by moving on and starting new things and I’ll always remember what people have done for me, but I want more than anything else to use what I know and take the reigns from here. I don’t want to leave people behind, either. It would be nice to always have my close friends there by my side even if we lived hundreds of miles away from each other. I want my family to know I’m not running away, I’m just doing what I need to do to make sure I’m happy. I know I still have a long way to go. I need to start having better habits and continue to be on top of things I need to do so I don’t fall off track. It won’t be easy, but I’ve gotten this far. Where I am now doesn’t feel right, but I’ll wait for that moment where I get pushed out of this intersection and I can truly be happy.” – April 23rd, 2011. Long Island, NY


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