“Everything you do can be an inspiration for someone else, so never shrink yourself to make other feel adequate or comfortable. Once you have shown other people that you shed yourself of all that holds you back, you will pass on that ability on to them.”
I wrote that on January 21st, 2012. 434 days ago (Thanks iPhone). I forgot that I wrote it and after a conversation with a friend yesterday it made me remember why I did. Everything you do for yourself is not just for you. Even though everyone has the one void they need to fill in their life, which will be different than yours, you can help them by doing whatever it takes to fill your own. Don’t worry about consequences, because those exist whether you jump in or not. Do what makes you whole and others will notice.
A friend of mine has been posting a lot of videos like this, so I decided to look some up on my own. It didn’t take long for me to find this one and captivated me right away. It made me feel like everything was going to be ok. That my life isn’t about working hard, getting ahead, and the eventual ending my hunger for the next endeavor; my life was about reaching a personal completeness while helping others do the same. I want to do things that make me happy. Fulfilled. Everyone should feel like that.
Crossing this bridge is one of the best feelings on earth. I’m either going to Long Island after a while of being away or I’m leaving Long Island to get away.
I want to take the word success out of my vocabulary. It’s more for what it means to other people than what it means to me. I think I just want to live and not measure it in any way. I want to learn, eat, drink, create, and listen. I also want to learn to love new things, travel more, and be adventurous.
As for my future, I want to find somewhere that can take my breath away. This is a picture (below) of Central Park, New York City, a place that first did that to me as a kid. I spent a lot of time here growing up, climbing the huge boulders and laying in the sun when I got to the top. I never understood how these huge rocks got in the middle of this amazing city. It never made any sense. The best part of my astonishment was eventually learning about them. About everything in New York. I’m sure I don’t need to live in New York City or Brooklyn, even though it may be where I belong, I just need to live somewhere that can keep up with my quest for knowledge and teach me how to gain excitement from life in a bunch of different ways.
The other day someone asked, “What motivates a 22 year old? What does that early twenty-something age-group respond to professionally and personally?” I had a simple answer for them, “Opportunity.” Now I only say that because, well – I’m 22. Besides that, I think that is what motivates a lot of people across age-groups. Though what that opportunity is or how it will benefit each person is completely subjective, to me it is a motivating factor for getting out there and doing whatever it is that inspires you to be – you. It is just as easy to sit back and fall into the cookie-cutter lifestyle as it is to say, “if you do what you love you won’t work a day in your life.” That need to be financially sound and love your job is a tough thing capture. Additionally, that quote from above is complete bullshit. Your job can be boring, hell- most jobs are. What is important for someone like me is to have that “third place” or even a fourth or fifth place in between home and work. For most pencil-pushing-cube-monkeys that’s the car ride home from work. That leads me to my next point.
What is even harder is the inability for people to continue pushing themselves not only on a professional level, but on a personal level in whatever capacity they see fit. I am in that middle stage of questioning that balance; What do I love to do? How do I like to have fun? What do I think is cool? What could those other “places” be besides going to work and being home? On top of that I get envious of people’s past experiences as well as their capabilities and lifestyle and question what I’m doing on a day to day basis. “Wow, I wish I did that” or “I wish I could do that.” I know that isn’t good because whatever I think is cool is cool and fuck you- that’s why. But it’s hard to stay in that state of mind all the time. Everyone wants to be able to tell that cool story, and not just from years ago like you’re some has-been; but as the person who takes pictures and people comment on it saying, “dude, I just saw you this afternoon. How are you in Colorado right now?” I guess what I’m saying is I need more spontaneity, but at the same time I want those moments of sporadic nonsense to be things I think are cool and not because someone told me a story or I saw a picture of someone do it. As much as I love being inspired by other people’s experiences, I want my own experiences to do the same for other people.
This is kind of like this whole hipster thing. “Hipsters” don’t think of themselves as that, other people give them the label. They live their lives at thrift shops (cue annoying song) and behind trendy glasses drinking the holiest of carbonated water (PBR) because they think that it’s cool. That’s it. They’re living a lifestyle that, outside of their shitty photos and fixed gear bikes (which I am apart of- thanks instagram and Brooklyn) people don’t have to like and that they love. That’s what is important. Create a lifestyle that is more than just your job. “Work to live.”And not just stay alive, no. Work overtime for a month because you want to go do something that makes you feel alive, not because you want to get a bigger T.V or a nicer car. If eating really weird expensive exotic dishes makes you feel alive (after or before you’re stomach disagrees with it) than do it. If you want to be able to take long weekends and drive to random places eating McDonald’s along the way; go for it. Whatever it is – just do it because, like I said before, fuck you – that’s why. It’s what you want. Period. End of story.